I was shocked and elated. Now I’m wondering if I can seriously do this. If she believes in me, then who am I to doubt myself? I’ve prayed for an opportunity like this for the greater part of my life. I’ve started a book that hasn’t moved in months. It’s my process though. No one can judge me. Take a deep breath I tell myself. Perhaps it’s the environment I’m in. Usually I’m laid back with a note pad sipping a glass of soda or water with lemon and things just start to flow. Suddenly I think to myself that I need to focus on a single topic. Speak as if I were talking to my best friend. I’ve been watching the alignment in my life. I was in a place where I didn’t feel like I had any real friends. I now sit and look at the beautiful spirits around me.
I am truly blessed. This chapter in my life was wrought with fear and anxiety. I didn’t know what my next steps would be. I started speaking to my future. I’m a writer/poet at heart. My goal is to become a spoken word artist. How could I do any of that if I can’t fathom being in front of the very people I’d like to reach. The thought of being on stage with all eyes on me is terrifying! I’m nearing my forties and the “what ifs” are no longer welcome. No more what if I stumble on certain words. What if I forget what I’m supposed to say? I’m human. Who cares!?
My Sisters this has followed me since I was very young. I was always told that I talk too much. So of course being the absolute rebel that I am I just stopped talking. Here I am about to turn 39, determined to face my final fear. I didn’t know how I was going to fix it until a great and unexpected opportunity came. I was referred to a professional development program. During this program I found the courage to conquer!
I’m not particularly shy so most people find it hard to believe I have this fear. When push came to shove and I had to deliver speeches I’d be awesome. Of course that was during school and you get comfortable with your classmates. When I’m amongst unfamiliar faces is when the fear strikes hardest. All I can see is eyes. The only thing on my mind is “Lord, don’t let my mind go blank!” Yes this has happened on many occasions. I can remember once forgetting my own name.
I’m looking forward to sharing my trials and triumphs with you all. Welcome to my journey Sisters.
There are many adjectives to describe Vonshak Shelby. Compassionate, charming and sarcastic are definitely the top three. She is a Chicago native with southern sensibility. Her Associates of Applied Sciences degree from Taylor Business Institute, coupled with 14 years of retail management experience have created the perfect backdrop for an aspiring writer/author. Vonshak believes we’re all a character in someone’s book of life. She hopes her character will inspire you!