What I Learned From a Bold Chat on Relationships

img_6871Last weekend I was asked to facilitate a conversation with about 30 women on various topics. Of course we discussed goals for 2017 and loving ourselves and then as all conversations with women usually lead, we talked about men and relationships.

This group of women were bold, awesome and feisty, but asked real questions about things that concerned them most.

About an hour into our conversation we were also joined by a panel of men who were there to tell us what men really thought and what they needed most from their women. The needs they shared were definitely understandable.

Listening to the men speak reminded me of what women need as well and why it’s a good idea to continue to have such bold conversations. Here’s what both men and women need.

Some men desire to be made to feel like a priority. This one of course isn’t a surprise to most of us because that’s most people’s needs. Men want their presence felt. Acknowledging they have entered a space makes them feel good. The same is true for women. We want our men to be excited to see us coming. Looking at us with desire and admiration just does something to us.

Some men also want women to be strong and feminine. Meaning they need their woman to need them. Allowing your man to do things for you makes him feel like he’s supposed to be there. Women want to trust their man to lead. For the most part, most women want a man to be the man in the home and take on the leadership role.

Some men need women to listen to what they say. If a man tells a woman he doesn’t like something or won’t do something, she better believe him.
Again, women also want to be trusted and listened to. We want our men to pay closer attention to our words. We want what we talk about to matter to our husbands.

The panelist of men also reminded women that we have the power in the relationships. It’s our responsibility to show our men how to treat us. Whether we’re dating or single, we can own that power by what we accept and require. If you’re dating and you accept the Netflix and chill type of date from that man consistently, that’s what he’s going to give you. It’s up to women to show the men in our lives our wants and our needs.

Women may have the power, but do also want to know what our husbands need. We want the relationship to be good for him too.

Some men enjoy the chase, which was another need that was brought up. One of the gentlemen shared he’s good if a woman approached him and strikes up a conversation, but wants to be the one to ask her out, initially. He went on to say that asking him out after that initial date is cool, but for the most part men want to do the hunting.

Some women do also enjoy being hunted. But they want to be able to ask out a cute guy too. They don’t want to have to sit and wait. If they see someone they’re interested in why not make the first move.

This conversation was so robust and enlightening for many of the women in the room. I love when men and women can come together and have real conversations about our needs. We learn how to love each other better when we do.

One of the final things I appreciated about this conversation was that the men on the panel were just as curious about what women needed, which really balanced the chat. The answers the women immediately yelled out included love, support and respect. Men and women are so much better together, when we understand each other’s needs.

Bolder Sisters, what else do men and women need in their relationships?

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