Fear is truly wild because it is the most insidious, creeping, fickle thing. It will disguise itself as your best friend and then kick you in the kneecaps. Then it will blow Cuban Cigar ashes in your face and be all like “What are YOU looking like that for, see?” In a fast-talking 20’s detective voice. Then Fear will walk off, leaving you with nothing to show for yourself but a bunch of nonredeemable emotion and a bruised kneecap.
A couple of weeks ago, I made the decision to develop a concept relative to my professional development. This masterpiece is supported by my heart and my first mind and encouraged by everyone I have shared my ideas with. “Do you Kris!” They say. “You got this, Kristen!” They say. “I’m looking forward to your project!” Green lights. Green lights everywhere! Clearly, I have hit the ground from that point with the passion and zeal of an Olympic sprinter. Wrong!
Ah, the woes of being human and emotionally fragile! My, the stress of everything unjust and fair! The physical exhaustion of my God given ingenuity! Dios Mio, the potential failure! My point is that fear manifested as procrastination and self- pity will rear its ugly head in the most baffling times, and I have to fight it when I least expect it. Procrastination is ultimately death. Why? Because I’m consciously prolonging something (if even for a fleeting moment) that will improve my mind and support my values, enhance my quality of life and improve the lives of others. Instead of going hard, I have decided every day that I will postpone some bit of my life until tomorrow, because I’m uncomfortable with the possible “negative” outcome that usually doesn’t exist.
I have worked through this the last few days by breaking down my day into small goals, sending emails I don’t want to send, by corresponding and asking questions that I “don’t feel like asking”. I also visualize myself in action, exactly where I want to be. I know every detail; who is around me, what I’m wearing and how I feel. When I do this, my vision becomes reality and there’s no more room to think about anything else.
Bolder Sisters, What does fear look like in your life?
Kristen Robinson was born with Blues in her heart, and a halo of snakeskin and Thai gold. Kristen’s affinity to all things dangerous and superficial in her youth inspired her heightened sense of collective consciousness, best expressed through her art/life . Kristen thinks best in the company of St. Cecilia, prisms, and foods that are green. Kristen now finds herself speaking less and full of lucid vindication, helping others live at their highest possible frequency. You can reach Kristen at que4radio.org, hosting HighxFunxionxRadio on Saturdays from 11:30 to 12:30PM.