I was searching for something the other day and I realized that I had no clue where it was. I live with my brother now so most of my things are stored in 2 closets in my bedroom. Admittedly, I’m not the most organized person in the world so it’s challenging. As I’m digging around in frustration (determined to find them), I’m asking myself “why do I have all this stuff?” I couldn’t think or function in the chaos and that’s when I realized why I’m having so much trouble focusing on getting any work done. I was spending most of my time searching for supplies and then I’d find it and have no energy to complete the project!
Having some form of organization is so important because without it, there’s nothing but chaos and drama. It’s not limited to messy closets and supplies bins either. Some of us have cluttered friendships, messy relationships, and toxic jobs that need an overhaul. The process for dealing with them are pretty much the same.
- Put everything out in the open. Going over each item reminds you of what you have-the good, the bad, and the ugly
- Put your hands on each item
- Determine its importance or worth. Will it enhance your life in any way or help you move forward?
- Make a decision to keep, toss, or give away.
- Find a usable space to store the keepers. That protects them and keeps them at your fingertips.
This method will work in just about any facet of your life. Let’s try it for relationships or a job. Put everything in the open. Identify the important points. Are you constantly arguing with someone or feel under-valued in the relationship or on the job? Is travel an issue on the job? Is the pay better than a living wage and are you content with it? Is the person you’re dealing with otherwise making you unhappy? Pull everything out of the “closets and drawers”.
Put your hands on each item. Go over each and every issue or point you’ve identified. Why are you constantly arguing? What’s causing you to feel under-valued? What is the exact issue with travel to the job? In considering your pay—what are your financial goals (new house, car, or putting kids through school)? Touching those items stored in “boxes” forces you to the third step.
You’ve seen it and touched it, now you have to determine how important it is. Do the arguments have any productive meaning or is it just noisy yelling and screaming that doesn’t solve the problem? How severely is feeling under-valued and can it be remedied—will talking to the friend/spouse/boss help? Will a tighter budget help you reach those financial goals or… will a new job do the trick? Do you really need or even want those pants or those 5 pairs of shoes you NEVER wear anymore?
Purge time—the condition of the item determines whether to keep, toss, or send to charity. You’ve put your cards on the table so is the relationship worth getting counseling to save? Is the job worth keeping or is it time to find a new one (or start your own business)? Is that dinky portable sewing machine taking up space in the closet worth keeping in addition to the full-sized machine you currently use?
Finally, the nurturing step. It’s valuable so now you want to treat it with respect and cherish it. Store it so you can get to it quickly. Label boxes (use clear ones) so you know exactly what’s there. Be that rock star at the present or new job. Spend time with your friend (or spouse) and always let them know how important they are to you (they should be valuing you the same way because that’s why you “kept” them :)! Create a pegboard to store supplies that need to be within arms-length.
Nothing is more paralyzing than having clutter and not knowing where things are! It took me several days to go through my belongings. I found that a lot of it was useless junk. I’m finally done and now everything has a place and everything’s in its place and I can finally breathe. My mind is no longer occupied with knowing that tomorrow I’ll be searching for my favorite scissors, or a particular supply. And… I found my missing item on day one of my purge! I feel one step closer to control, freedom, and sanity!
Bolder Sisters, what do you need to purge from your closet/life?
Kim Woods earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Computer Information Systems at DeVry University. She developed a love for writing poetry and short stories as a child. Kim is socially conscience and her desire to use her life experiences to help others is what drives her to seek opportunities to share her story. She decided to write freelance for the Bolder Sister because it is her desire that women evolve and thrive in their own authentic truth.
Kim resides in Chicago, Illinois and has one son, Donald. In addition to writing, she spends free time creating unique wall art, decorating, and teaching herself how to sculpture. She also has a blog Who Will Speak.