Love Them With Boldness

Senior African American Woman Hands Holding Rose FlowerGreetings, Bolder Sisters! The last several weeks have been mentally, physically, and emotionally challenging for me. But I awoke this morning realizing how embracing our boldness can be transformative not only for our own lives but also those of our loved ones.  The past couple of weeks have been extremely demanding for me on a personal level but today I want to talk about the importance of using boldness to help others.  In writing this article names and specific incidences will not be revealed In order to maintain the privacy of others.

Being a Bolder Sister means we are constantly teaching ourselves to have the ability to step up, speak out, and “do it” with courage and freedom.  We do this so that we can fulfil our God-given purpose in life in our careers, churches, homes, etc.  My entire family has been going through various trials and transitions (as most families will do eventually) and while some are through no fault of their own, there are some who truly have been on an arduous journey of self destruction.

In the past when dealing with some of these issues, there’s been a tendency to mention–as briefly as possible – the behavior and why it is not the productive course to take (be it volatile relationships, alcohol, etc.) and…there is a lot of “etcetera” going on as this is a very large family. This year has been more nerve-wracking than others, so in dealing with the ups, downs, and challenges of my loved ones, I’m finding that speaking out in love has been extremely necessary. That and keeping them (and myself) in constant prayer! What exactly is in love?

  • Telling the truth with firmness even if it’s painful for both of us.
  • Making sure it’s flowing from within you from a place of sincerity and respect.
  • Speaking in order to build them up and not make them feel less than.
  • Having them understand that it’s the behavior that is at issue
  • Keeping the message consistent
  • Making sure they absolutely know how much you love them
  • Speaking you own truth to them

Sometimes it’s a bitter pill this thing called boldness because it forces us to step out of our comfort zones in ways we’d prefer not to entertain.  I’ve always been the “helper” and the “diplomat” of my family. I firmly believe in helping others and assisting them in getting the additional help they may need. It’s no less than I’d do for myself. But in doing so lately, I’ve had to take a breath and take some plunges in spite of the anxiety and depression it caused me.  Did it yield results?  In most cases it did.  I wasn’t popular for speaking those harder truths but I found that I was loved and respected because I did.

The test though, is feeling bombarded by the consistency of it all.  There’s a delicate balance of not becoming drawn into constant drama and upheaval.  Additionally, I have to be careful not to open the door that will have me manipulated into doing for others to the detriment of my own peace of mind.  It’s tricky but it’s worth it to see my loved ones (especially the younger ones) thrive and have successful lives.

So I have spoken out harder truths to the young generation in our family about those things I (and others) felt were damaging to them and others.  The rewards are slowly trickling in—so far two loved ones have sought help and the others are reflecting upon their lives and staying in communication.

So Bolder Sisters, in addition to grooming your personal boldness, prepare yourself to step into the gap and speak with boldness and love to those around you who need it.

Bolder Sisters, was there a loved one who needed you to step forward in love?  Did you speak to them and if so, what was the result?

IMG_3940Kim Woods earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Computer Information Systems at DeVry University. She developed a love for writing poetry and short stories as a child. Kim is socially conscience and her desire to use her life experiences to help others is what drives her to seek opportunities to share her story. She decided to write freelance for the Bolder Sister because it is her desire that women evolve and thrive in their own authentic truth.
Kim resides in Chicago, Illinois and has one son, Donald. In addition to writing, she spends free time creating unique wall art, decorating, and teaching herself how to sculpture. She also has a blog Who Will Speak.

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