Hello Bolder Sisters,
It’s been a little while and I apologize for my time away. It was truly spent reflecting and making sure that I’m still focused on God’s plan for my life. It’s easy to get distracted when life and work seem to take over. I hope you too find the time to just be still when it’s necessary. With that being said, let’s focus on this week’s post. As always, it’s all about you and it’s necessary.
One thing about being a shy girl is that sometimes people forget we’re in the room. They discount the value we bring to a conversation, and occasionally when we do speak up, they may only half listen. And that, bolder sisters, is a problem. As I began overcoming my fear of speaking up, the one thing I kept telling myself was that I was going to be heard because what I had to say mattered and everyone in the room needed to know that.
If you still find yourself struggling with speaking up, being noticed and actually being heard, here are a few tips to get you started.
- Be comfortable in your skin, in your outfit and with everything else that makes you, you. I’ve found that when I’m wearing a power suit or a an outfit I love, I just feel a lot more confident. When your clothes fit you the way you like and you feel good about yourself from the outside, you’ll begin to feel that shift on the inside too. So choose colors that make you smile and styles that compliment you appropriately.
- Practice the random talk. Whenever I was nervous about speaking up at a meeting, I would plan to have random conversations prior to the meeting, just to get in the habit of talking for that day. I found that the more conversations I had outside of the meeting, the more prepared I felt to speak during the meeting. Have random conversations, ask questions, or share a random fact. Anything that gets your words flowing naturally is a great way to prepare.
- Forget waiting on the perfect moment. I remember sitting in groups where conversations were flowing, just waiting patiently for my chance to speak so not to interrupt anyone. Yeah, well that didn’t always work. Waiting for the right moment, doesn’t always get you heard. I’ve learned from others and now I know it’s okay to sometimes jump right in. If I do start to talk while someone else is, I’ll quickly say “excuse me” or “I didn’t mean to interrupt” and then at least they know I have something to say, and when that person finishes, everyone knows to turn it back over to me. Sometimes it really is a matter of jumping right in, don’t be afraid to do that if needed.
- Your entrance is everything. If you truly want to be noticed when you enter one of those rooms, a meeting, or large group conversations, begin with a greeting. If it’s a more intimate group speak to everyone as you enter. A “Good Morning or Evening Everyone” is a great way to enter a room. The other thing to remember is to get uncomfortable. Don’t just quickly retreat to the one or two people you already know, be a bit adventurous and sit next to someone new.
- Borrow an approach you like. Don’t be afraid to borrow another bolder sister’s style you admire. Have you seen another sister who just walks in and owns a room? What do you think it is about her that gets the attention. Is it her style, is it the words she chooses, or perhaps it’s the number of people she knows in that room. Whatever it is, if it works and you like it, borrow a little of it for yourself. We can all learn from each other, and it’s okay for us to share approaches.
Bolder Sisters, I hope this list helps you feel a little more comfortable with being noticed and being heard. Don’t be afraid to put them into practice. I would love to hear your results, please share the ones you’ve tried in the comments section.