Quiet Your “Negative Alternative” Voice

Young woman relaxing outsideI recently had an “incident” in my kitchen that brought back an interesting memory. About 15 years ago I was making a wooden picture frame one evening. I was using a hunting knife to carve in the grooves that hold the glass in place. My then husband and my son were watching intently and my husband said “Babe, be careful that knife is really sharp.” My son also piped in saying “Yeah… you’re going to cut yourself Mom.” I was almost done with my little project and I looked up and told them that I was fine and I knew what I was doing. Within about 10 minutes of that statement, I sliced my left finger and ended up with 7 stitches and an unfinished frame.

The power of the human brain is amazing. What the mind visualizes is what eventually manifests. This gives me great hope because I’m still walking a path of “second chances” in my life. I know the way I think can sometimes be self-discouraging and with this awareness I can now consciously alter my thinking for a better outcome. I’m a visual person so I tend to turn inward to ‘see’ a process. Somehow, my son and ex-husband’s well-meaning caution that night had the opposite effect and I suddenly saw myself cutting my finger while at the same time being more careful not to. The negative outcome was that I cut myself.

Fast-forward to the other day. I was making a protein smoothie using a shaker. As I was sitting it on the counter, I almost tipped it over. I caught it but in my mind I saw the ‘disaster’ –it falling over spilling everywhere and, me having to clean it up. Well, sure enough, as I was reaching for a straw, I knocked it on the floor and had to clean it up! I actually asked myself “Did I just make that happen– for real?” I believe I did because I was still dwelling on it when it happened.

If the saying is true that “you are what you eat” and “you are what you think” then I have a LOT of work to do in both areas. How can I be successful if I don’t quiet down that “negative alternative outcome” voice? You know what it is… it’s that little visual movie (or voice) that always shows you that alternative outcome to your success. IF you say the wrong thing in an interview, you won’t get the job. IF you write that book, no one will read it. IF you open that business, you might not make enough money therefore not be able to repay the loan. IF you carve into the frame too hard and deep, you’ll cut yourself. It’s not about taking the precaution not to fail. It’s the visualization of the negative outcome (that if statement) that allows you to fail—or, not even try to achieve your dream. “Be Positive” is a great affirmation but along with that is also the visualization. We tend to “be positive” but are still playing that negative alternative in our minds.

So when that “negative alternative outcome” voice creeps in while you’re contemplating your dreams and aspirations switch it off and immediately think of your successful outcome. As in “my smoothie will be just fine right here on the counter and I will NOT knock it over”

Bolder Sisters, are you aware of your “negative alternative” voice (vision)? How do you control it?

IMG_3940Kim Woods earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Computer Information Systems at DeVry University.  She developed a love for writing poetry and short stories as a child.  Kim is socially conscience and her desire to use her life experiences to help others is what drives her to seek opportunities to share her story.  She decided to write freelance for the Bolder Sister because it is her desire that women evolve and thrive in their own authentic truth.

Kim resides in Chicago, Illinois and has one son, Donald.  In addition to writing, she spends free time creating unique wall art, decorating, and teaching herself how to sculpture.